I just
had a conversation with my uncle, my favourite uncle if I may add. We started
off talking about church and the hypocrisy that goes on in most. This was
brought on by a particular visitor we got. The conversation then went on to my
internship and how I need to plan where I want to be in the future. He said a
lot of things and gave me a lot to think about.
My
uncle talked about how I need to watch those people who have money and power to
see what they are doing, if that is what I really want. In addition, I have to
think about whether money is what I want because I may have to do something
totally different in my career to have that money. He was quick to remind me
that even if I attend the best school, make the "best" money, wear
the best clothes, drive the best car, drink the best wine; those things get old
really quickly because I start to think about what else there is. The important
things in life, my uncle told me, are free - the love of God, good friendships,
love, family. I cannot let myself forget the important things in life while
pursuing my career.
Another
point of our conversation was about the importance of establishing and
maintaining good relationships, especially professionally-inclined ones. I have
to form relationships with people who I work with - my peers because they will
be future leaders. It is imperative to maintain these relationships because
they will be helpful to me in the future. Of course, it is also necessary to
have similar relationships with people ahead professionally. From these
relationships, I may get opportunities. His main advice about such
opportunities is not to have a myopic view of life but to expand my view and
consider these opportunities wisely. He said that where I am now is a product
of my background, education, environment, etc but where I am going to be is on
me and what I do to get there. "There are a million intelligent people so
it's not about what you know but who you know" (I'm paraphrasing here). He
believes that I'm on the right start and that I have no idea the heights I can
attain but no matter where I am, I have to remember NEVER to get a chip on my
shoulder; to always remember my humble background and who I am. "Aim for
the sky," he said, "but be sure to keep your feet grounded."
The
last section of our conversation was just about my "home" life and
how I need to detach myself emotionally from the things that happen sometimes.
He recognizes how difficult that is (probably more than anybody else does) but
that is what growing up and maturity entails. He said we (my siblings and I)
are more mature than our ages and sometimes he forgets just how young we are.
That particularly made me happy. He stressed that I should try to maintain
neutrality, in words, behaviour and facial expressions, to the things that
happen in this house. I should not wear my emotions on my face which,
surprisingly to me, he says I don't do often because I have this "game
face." I have always been of the opinion that I am an open book and
whatever I am feeling is prominently displayed on my face.
The
part that touched me the most are the comments he made about me as a person,
which he was quick to mention were not out of sentimentality because in
actuality, my uncle definitely keeps it real. He said he has come to know me
and likes me as a person and that I am "up there" on his list. The
fact that he can say this about me after he has known me for a while, lived in
the same house as I have, seen me at some of my really bad moments, and has
come to know that I'm not always the smiling, nice girl most people see when
they meet me, means the world to me. One of my fears has been that people
probably don't like me as much once they get to know me. I can predict how most
people who meet me and/or know me for short while would describe me -
"She's so nice, and always smiling" but I usually wonder how long
this opinion lasts because while this is who I am (it's difficult for me to
pretend), I am also susceptible to quick mood swings without actual cause, and
sometimes the smallest thing ruins the best day for me. That really meant a lot
to me. The other thing that touched my heart greatly is what he said about the
aura around me. "Let me put it like this," he said, "I like who
I am when I'm around my wife and I like who I am when I'm around you. It's just
something about you I like; I can't put my finger on it. There's just this
thing about you that makes people feel lucky to be around you; to share, and be
a part of that moment.” That has to be the highest compliment anyone has ever
paid me. It’s difficult to explain how I felt in that moment. I had no inkling
that I can have that effect on one person in this world, and he acknowledged
the fact that he knows that I have no idea.
An
overall important point that I am taking out of this conversation include the
fact that I should never compromise: “The clothes you wear, the person you
date, your friends . . . , you should never compromise on those things. And of
course your morals, your principles.”
