A Conversation with My Uncle - June 22, 2012

I just had a conversation with my uncle, my favourite uncle if I may add. We started off talking about church and the hypocrisy that goes on in most. This was brought on by a particular visitor we got. The conversation then went on to my internship and how I need to plan where I want to be in the future. He said a lot of things and gave me a lot to think about.

My uncle talked about how I need to watch those people who have money and power to see what they are doing, if that is what I really want. In addition, I have to think about whether money is what I want because I may have to do something totally different in my career to have that money. He was quick to remind me that even if I attend the best school, make the "best" money, wear the best clothes, drive the best car, drink the best wine; those things get old really quickly because I start to think about what else there is. The important things in life, my uncle told me, are free - the love of God, good friendships, love, family. I cannot let myself forget the important things in life while pursuing my career.

Another point of our conversation was about the importance of establishing and maintaining good relationships, especially professionally-inclined ones. I have to form relationships with people who I work with - my peers because they will be future leaders. It is imperative to maintain these relationships because they will be helpful to me in the future. Of course, it is also necessary to have similar relationships with people ahead professionally. From these relationships, I may get opportunities. His main advice about such opportunities is not to have a myopic view of life but to expand my view and consider these opportunities wisely. He said that where I am now is a product of my background, education, environment, etc but where I am going to be is on me and what I do to get there. "There are a million intelligent people so it's not about what you know but who you know" (I'm paraphrasing here). He believes that I'm on the right start and that I have no idea the heights I can attain but no matter where I am, I have to remember NEVER to get a chip on my shoulder; to always remember my humble background and who I am. "Aim for the sky," he said, "but be sure to keep your feet grounded."

The last section of our conversation was just about my "home" life and how I need to detach myself emotionally from the things that happen sometimes. He recognizes how difficult that is (probably more than anybody else does) but that is what growing up and maturity entails. He said we (my siblings and I) are more mature than our ages and sometimes he forgets just how young we are. That particularly made me happy. He stressed that I should try to maintain neutrality, in words, behaviour and facial expressions, to the things that happen in this house. I should not wear my emotions on my face which, surprisingly to me, he says I don't do often because I have this "game face." I have always been of the opinion that I am an open book and whatever I am feeling is prominently displayed on my face.

The part that touched me the most are the comments he made about me as a person, which he was quick to mention were not out of sentimentality because in actuality, my uncle definitely keeps it real. He said he has come to know me and likes me as a person and that I am "up there" on his list. The fact that he can say this about me after he has known me for a while, lived in the same house as I have, seen me at some of my really bad moments, and has come to know that I'm not always the smiling, nice girl most people see when they meet me, means the world to me. One of my fears has been that people probably don't like me as much once they get to know me. I can predict how most people who meet me and/or know me for short while would describe me - "She's so nice, and always smiling" but I usually wonder how long this opinion lasts because while this is who I am (it's difficult for me to pretend), I am also susceptible to quick mood swings without actual cause, and sometimes the smallest thing ruins the best day for me. That really meant a lot to me. The other thing that touched my heart greatly is what he said about the aura around me. "Let me put it like this," he said, "I like who I am when I'm around my wife and I like who I am when I'm around you. It's just something about you I like; I can't put my finger on it. There's just this thing about you that makes people feel lucky to be around you; to share, and be a part of that moment.” That has to be the highest compliment anyone has ever paid me. It’s difficult to explain how I felt in that moment. I had no inkling that I can have that effect on one person in this world, and he acknowledged the fact that he knows that I have no idea.

An overall important point that I am taking out of this conversation include the fact that I should never compromise: “The clothes you wear, the person you date, your friends . . . , you should never compromise on those things. And of course your morals, your principles.”