From Lola's Blog Again

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you…. The one who turns to his friends and says, ‘that’s her.’”








I Really Want This Someday!

MISERY

The ground was all covered with green grass, the flowers had started blooming, the birds were singing happily, and everywhere the magic of spring hung in the air. I felt this magic myself; it was evident in my happy expression. I woke up feeling very happy.

I walked back from the gathering, whose purpose I do not remember, with my friend of almost four years – Virgil. Everywhere around us people were laughing, discussing the outcome of the meeting. Virgil and I were also discussing, I care not to remember what we were talking about as we always have issues – both mundane and serious – to discuss. The camaraderie and easy friendship we share is out of this world, we know each other almost perfectly.

As we walked, laughing and chatting, I stopped to greet people and my friend patiently waited for me each time. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, I made a cry of pain and alarm and my hands flew automatically of their own accord to clutch at my stomach. Virgil was alarmed and he was right beside me immediately, asking about what happened. Almost as sudden as it came, the pain disappeared. I stood up tall and straight, and told my friend that I was fine.

What on earth I did to annoy Virgil, I know not, but suddenly my friend increased his pace and left me behind. I thought nothing of it at first. I stopped to greet some more people, but unlike the previous times, my friend was not waiting.

I increased my pace too, trying to catch up but I could not. My temper was starting to run short, so I called out to him and told him that I was not ready to chase after him if he was not going to wait. He stopped, I walked up to him and tried to find out what was wrong but he said he was okay. We walked the rest of the road in silence.

As we walked on, I tried to figure out what was wrong with him. It then dawned on me that my friend was annoyed at himself for letting his emotions show. I realized the truth that had stared me in the face for so long: my friend was in love with me but he was in denial even to himself, and I had willingly decided not to see it. Then I thought to myself, “Dear friend, why do you decide to keep yourself in misery?” The greatest truth of all then dawned on me; there were two people in the chains of that misery. Two people whose true happiness depended on the love that was yet to be admitted and shared.

(Just a short story I wrote for one of my classes in 2009. I read it today and for some reason, it stood out to me. By the way, this is a work of fiction).

Random

I saw this on my friend Zeenie's blog (http://zerself.blogspot.com/) and she found it somewhere on tumblr. She thinks I should join tumblr too, by the way. Anyway, just as she loved it, I fell in love with it myself and I relate to this a 100%. Enough of the talking, here it is:

"I am curvy.
I have scars.
I have cellulite.
I have been told I am beautiful.
I have been told the exact opposite.
I have been told to be proud of myself.
I have been told to starve myself.
Big boobs, jelly belly and hips galore.
Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I don’t.
I am working on it. I am me and I love me."

Positive Outcomes Only

I left the house for work this morning and for the first time it wasn't extremely hot; it was breezy and cloudy. For a while I was happy about that. That happy feeling lasted for about all of five minutes until it started to rain. "Oh well, I have an umbrella. No problem, right?" I think to myself. Was I wrong?

The rain was so heavy that my umbrella wasn't cutting it. I was soaked to the skin, just about from head to toe - shirt, skirt and shoes. Thank God for small favours; at least now I have no hair to be worried about getting frizzy or puffy.

I was pissed!! I kept walking thinking about how today just started on the wrong foot and how I will be upset the rest of the day. I decided that my normal cheerful self will most likely be invisible the whole day. And then I remembered.

Just yesterday I was talking with two people about the serenity prayer. For those of you who don't know it, here it is:

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

I remembered this prayer and thought about how I have the ability to choose my attitude to the unpleasantness of being beaten by the rain. I could decide to be angry and probably give everyone I meet today a negative (possibly untrue) opinion of me or I could accept that I could not change the situation and just keep my attitude positive.

As much as I would love to say that I immediately became cheerful after giving myself this pep talk, that would be incorrect. I was still a little angry but slowly I let go of the anger and before I got to work, I was calm and singing to myself.

Now I sit at my desk, still in my wet clothes, shivering in this office, which is as cold as a refrigerator but I'm not angry anymore. All I am now is a bunch of nerves as I not-so-eargerly look forward to this performance review I have with my performance manager in about an hour and nine minutes and then lunch with the said manager and two other people who will basically be telling what I did wrong and whatnot.