Day 20 - The One That Broke My Heart The Hardest

I've never had my heart broken; I mean I'm a careful girl so how could anyone have broken my heart??? (jk)

Seriously, I've never been heart-broken like that. I know it would happen sometime. This is going to sound weird but I actually do want it to happen because it's one of those rites of passage and it will make me stronger and more experienced.

Day 19 - Someone That Pesters My Mind - Good or Bad

This topic is really pointless (one of my least favorites) but I don't want to skip any day, so this is it: no single person pesters my mind #flat

Day 18 - The Person That I Wish I Could Be

I just want to be me, it's as simple as that. I don't really like the person I am most of the time, now. I miss the person I used to be. I think the person I used to be is more like the person I'm meant to be. I'm slowly rediscovering the person I used to be, & I've learnt so much from the person I am. The combination of these two "MEs" is the person I wish I could be. I love myself & would never change who I am for anybody. The person that I wish I could be is the real me!

*The picture on the left represents who I used to be (taken on November 5, 2008) & on the right, who I am now (taken on July 24, 2010)

Day 17 - Someone From My Childhood

I was going to do this with pictures but that's too much work since I'm doing this about three people from my childhood. The four of us share a childhood bond. We, the three girls, were extra, super close. The parents of all four of us were/are close friends.

The first person I'll talk about is Inumidun Fatoke. I've known her since I was in the womb. She's just six months older than me. We were really close. We used to match and all. At her birthday parties and mine, we wore identical clothes in the same colours. We were best of friends for a long time but things happened. We grew up, at least she did when she decided our other friend, Tolulope, and myself treated her some kind of way. I can't say we're still friends; we're just about strangers to each other, all that we have left is the childhood bond we share.

The second is the only boy & his name is Gideon Disu. He wasn't overly close to us but we were childhood friends. We've known each other since, and we grew up together. He's not a stranger to me but we're not all that friends. At least, I still know him.

The last but the greatest is my present bestest, Tolulope Kumuyi (the girl in the picture). I know her, we're still best of friends and I love her so much. She's been there over the years and my life is better for having known her.

Day 16 - Someone That Is Not In My State or Country

I know I definitely can't go through this 30-day blog challenge without talking about this special friend of mine. I've known him for almost 8 years now, though we've been friends for less. & yeah he's in Morocco.

Summary: He's a really great friend. Sometimes I wonder myself how our long distance friendship works, but it does. He's one of those few people whom I know that even after a long time of not communicating would still be friends. We have a weird relationship, don't ask. He's helped me get through a lot. I'm hoping you never leave!

Day 15 - The Person I Miss The Most

I don't miss any one person the most. I miss all my friends. I'm writing about this one person because she doesn't believe I miss her & in her mind, I don't even remember her. I hate the fact that I'm writing this after she just said on Facebook that she misses me; I had already decided that this was going to be about you. Darmey, you've got to believe me this time! Yes, her name is Darmey; Oluwadamilola actually since Darmey means nothing. I call her Nasty Darmey (only Gbemi & I call her that) & some others call her Tall Darmey (do they still call you that btw?)Pictures really don't capture the essence of this girl; so it was hard choosing a picture. I picked two. Let me explain this first. Darmey is a model; and in this picture she's doing her thing. She can be exactly the way she looks in this picture; sassy, saucy, rude & everything. Remember how we became friends and we (Gbemi & I) nicknamed you Nasty Darmey? She also has to act the diva in everything (Oh! I remember one day you were posing for a picture & Sope told you "smile; you're on the grass not the runway" That was funny); coming up with phrases that used to make us tell her to create her own dictionary. This particular Darmey can be very annoying.

This picture signifies the other side of this girl. She's a very sweet friend & acts like a kid sometimes in spite of the sophistication (no offense; it's all love). This girl is my friend; I'm proud to call her my friend. Despite how much she annoys and/or irritates me at times, she's still my friend. This is a person that truly cares about those she loves and calls friends. She has made me, as her friend, feel like a very important part of her life & my opinion about stuff (even herself) really matters to her. I could go on & on. We might not be all that close anymore but I still, and will always, miss this girl, Nasty Darmey!

My Promise To You

I may not be able to give you what you need the most, but you can count on my support, prayers, love and care.

If you ever need to talk, I'll be here to listen; if you ever need to cry, I'll lend you my shoulders to cry on; I'll always be here for you.

Even when I can't be with you, my heart will always be by your side.

When I can't feel your pain, I'll at least try to understand it. When I can't feel your pain & sorrows, I'll feel a pain in my heart, knowing you are in pain.

Beyond distance & irrespective of the time that has passed (with or without communication), I'll still be here when you need me.

I'll always love you; no matter what.


This is my promise to you; the promise I made when I called you my friend. I renew this promise every time I call you my friend. Hold me to this promise, a thousand years after our last communication, because friendship never EVER dies, it's a circle that continues.

Day 14 - Someone From Whom I've Drifted

This is just about all of my friends. I'll keep it short and simple.

Oluwafemi Odukoya

Oluwaponmile Adegboyega

George Ugbegua

Oluwaseyi Adegbola

Kehinde Adewale

Inumidun Fatoke


The love is the same; circumstances just forced us apart.

Day 13 - A Fictional Book

You would think this would be difficult for me, because if you know anything about me you'd know I love reading and I've read too many books, but this was very easy actually. Once I saw this topic, I knew what book it was going to be.

Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison.
I read this book for my AP English 12 class & it was definitely different from what I thought it was going to be. Its style its so different and unique from other books I've read, which was why I chose to write about it today. That book made me think, analyze, draw connections. It has deep meanings in every thing - the name of the characters, the location of places, even the time of events. There's so much I can say about that book yet there's nothing to say. Song of Solomon is awesome. Read it if you haven't.

Day 12 - The Person I Hate/The Person That Caused Me The Most Pain

I don't even have to think twice about this. The award goes to *drums beating..............................*

MY STEPFATHER

He has caused me more pain & unhappiness than I care to remember. I'll just leave the past in the past, wrap my strength around me & continue into the future.

Day 11 - A Deceased Person With Whom I Wish I Could Talk

I've been privileged enough not to lose (to death) any person really close to me. The only family I've lost was my uncle. He died on January 21, 2006. I cried when my mother told me about his death. I guess he's the only person that falls into today's topic.

Day 10 - Someone I Don't Talk With As Much As I Would Like

So many people fall into this category (even though it says someone). This doesn't need pictures or even any long talks. I'll just mention a few of these people.

Omotayo Egberongbe

Tolulope Kumuyi

Oluwagbemisola Akinola

Olayinka Folorunso

Ayanyimika Ayanlola

Henry Oladimeji

Day 9 - Someone I Wish I Could Meet (C)

Acting is the what I love doing the most. Its just in me. I hope to find a career in it sometime. I really doubt I can find that here in the U.S and I wouldn't mind going back home to do what I love. I intentionally chose a Nigerian actress for this. She's my namesake for one & her name is Chioma Chukwuka. She's REALLY good at what she does. Of all the Nollywood actresses (they act in basically the same way as their Hollywood counterparts), I consider her a role model. She's so decent & also selective in her roles. Happily married with a kid - a rare fit in the movie industry. She's the kind of actress I would want to be - a brilliant actress, strong morals and a happy family - only I would be better!!!

Day 9 - Someone I Wish I Could Meet (B)

I love reading. I can't even count or remember how many books I've read in my entire life (even the last one year). Danielle Steel is my favorite author of all time & I've read 77 of her books to date. I think I have about 5 or so to read of all the books she has ever written. I can remember the storyline of each of the 77 books (I think I can, you can quiz me if you want). I just love her style. She makes the characters so real to you that you feel their pain and joy. Most of her books make me cry/weep. She has many light-hearted books too. If I could just meet her for a day . . .

Day 9 - Someone I Wish I Could Meet (A)

I love music. That's definitely one of the things I'm passionate about. I don't write songs or anything but songs speak to me and touch me in a way nothing else does. I love Taylor Swift's songs. I've always loved country music & Kelly Clarkson used to be my favorite country artiste before Taylor. Her (Taylor) songs really speak to me & stir up emotions in me. I can't even explain it. Plus, she loves her fans. I would really want to meet Taylor!

Day 8 - My Favorite Internet Friend

I thought about this, I don't have an internet friend. What I've had over the years have been phone friends I've never met or whose pictures I've not even seen.

Its kinda hard to pick one person but I'd say my favorite phone friend of all time is Dayo Ajayi. I met (does that apply since I've never actually met him before?) him through a friend, who has also never seen him before, & my friend met him through a mutual friend of ours who is his cousin. Dayo and I were pretty close. We used to talk on the phone very often (at some point every night) & from those conversations we were able to know so much about each other. I could tell you the kind of person he is even though I've never met him & can't even recognize him if he walks past me on the street.

Dayo & I have been out of touch for like 2 years now. Things happen (I guess he changed his number or something). Reading about Yvette's internet friend made me think, "Facebook! Look for him on Facebook!!" I don't know why I never thought of that before. Considering the fact that many people have the name "Dayo Ajayi" & I don't know what he looks like, how would I know? Well, I checked friends list & on his I found his brother's name (who I know too & I've spoken with a few times) & I checked his wall & someone called him by his full name (Ekundayo) so I was right! I already sent a friend request so through Facebook (the internet) we can reestablish our friendship & the awesome plus is I get to see some pictures & physically know my friend!

With Tears Streaming Down My Face

I'm so hating my life right now. I'm so miserable and unhappy. I don't really know what this is about. I think I'm forgetting what true happiness feels like. I need an escape from this mess. I wish people knew how much their words & actions affect others. Sometimes I wish I had never been born. (Sunday, July 18, 2010. 10:21pm)

Day 7 - My Ex-boyfriend/Love/Crush

Can you have an ex-boyfriend without ever having had a boyfriend? Can you have an ex-love (what's that btw) without ever having been in love? I guess the answer is "NO" on both counts so I don't have an ex-boyfriend or ex-love.

This is going to be about my first crush (as far as I can remember) and my almost boyfriend (I know that sounds weird lol).

First Crush:I must have been like 8 years old (#superyoung, but I've always been more mature than my age) when I had a crush on this guy. He's waaaaaaaaaaaaay older than I am (#Anotherrandomfact I fall for older guys too much and vice versa). Since he's known me forever he probably just saw me as a younger sister or whatever, or just a cute kid. His eyes are MAGNIFICENT. I look into those eyes and I'm done, literally. His are the most beautiful eyes I've seen. I'd probably(actually I will) trip for those eyes whenever I see him again. I almost forgot to mention that he noticed me after a while (14, 15, 16) but by then, this girl was feeling grown.

Almost Boyfriend: Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake by not having a relationship with this guy. I'm learning to stop living in the past and wondering about what could have been. "Don't cry that its over, smile that it ever happened." We were friends for a while (we still are); I actually realize that what I refer to as our "friendship" is what my American friends will call "talking." I appreciate our friendship & made me realize I can be loved and appreciated. Just putting out there; I didn't have a relationship with him mostly because I'm a coward (with my heart) and was scared & because I knew I was relocating the United States soon (to a much lesser extent). He's a writer/poet and he's good at what he does. He's also older than me btw (almost 7 years). He's the kind of person most girls would want as a boyfriend. Too many memories. I remember when there was a full moon, he sent me a text talking about the moon & actually comparing me to the moon,then he called me. #Sweetmemories. I guess what I'm trying to say is I've never felt as loved in my entire life and I got so much attention and care. I'm happy for him and his girlfriend. I hope she appreciates him. I never really saw myself as being good enough for him anyway.

From Lola's Blog

"

I saw the above on Lola's blog. As I was reading this, coupled with the fact that I was listening to "Jar of Hearts," the tears in my eyes came harder and rolled down. This is so true. "Lola, your words touched me."

FREEDOM

Walking alone in the woods

I see the birds flapping their wings

Flying at will.

Tree branches bend with the wind

I feel the wind upon my face.

And all around me,

I hear the animals scurry,

Moving aimlessly

While others wait silently

The forest is alive

With one important element-

Freedom.

Like the birds,

I want to spread my wings

And fly.

Like the branches,

I want to be able to bend

With the wind of life

And at the end,

Stand tall with my head held up high.

Like the wind,

I want to float in the air

Touching the lives of others

And moving on-

Never caged-

Like the animals,

I want to experience life

Making my own mistakes

And learning from them.

Just like the forest,

I want to be free

Everywhere is suddenly dark,

Oh! The rain is coming-

Now I must return.

If I Die

This is something I think about often, so many times for so many years now. I don't want to die soon or anything like that but it could happen. I pray it doesn't (and I believe it wont) but I wonder & have so many questions about what would happen if I die as a teenager/youth (I don't why I'm not really bothered about the dying as an adult part but I'm not). I'll ask just a few of the questions that run through my mind.

If I die:

* Would my friends and acquaintances miss me?

* What would people miss about me?

* Would people really feel the pain of my loss in their hearts?

* Would I be forgotten after a brief period, like I never happened?

* Even after some years, would some people still say "I wish Chioma were here?"

* Would some say "If Chioma just saw this she would have said . . ."?

* Would some people be able to look at my picture & remember the things for which I lived?

* Would my friends have the memories of us or will my image be a blur in their minds?

* Would some people think the world is better off without me in it?

* Would people be able to say they learned something from me?

* Would people be able to remember the lessons and have the gifts from me forever?

* Would my absence be felt at all?

If I die, there are some things I'd want to happen. "Tell me no tales, sing me no songs, cry me no tears but remember me kindly." "Curl your toes in the soft pines of your floorboards and do remember me."

If I die:

*I'd want my spirit to be able to visit the earth for a while.

*I'd want to be able to help my loved ones through the pain before I finally rest.

*I wouldn't want people to mourn excessively for me.

*Like the two quotes above, all I want is for people to just remember me & the person I was.

*I'd hate to think/know that I was totally forgotten or became a blur in people's minds.

I'd like for a candlelight service at every place where I was happy for a while (NEPA LTS, Mayflower, Ajayi Crowther University, RHS).

*Having one at Mayflower and Ajayi Crowther University would mean the most because I was at my happiest in both places & I met too many awesome people there.

*I'd want those I love to know the extent of my love for them (before I die actually).

This is about that for now. I'd probably remember more things later, because this is something that pops up in my mind fairly often, and edit this later or write a sequel or something.

Day 6 - A Stranger

This is another hard one. I've been thinking about this since the day I saw this topic, and I cannot remember any single stranger I've met that really left an impression. I don't really talk with strangers anyway. The lesson of this is to be more open to people and try to know strangers too.

In The Navel of The Soul

In the navel of the soul

The midwives of the spirit say they can hear a heart throb

The experts of course disagree -

The urine test they ordered tested negative confirming their palpitation results

Our fundal height is at an all-time low

Our breasts bear no tale-tell tints upon their tits

Yet in their finger upon our navel

The midwives of the spirit say they can hear a fetal throb

God, the things that are done in Your name

I mean, the things that are undone behind the flimsy facade of Your name

If our own eyes have not seen

the things they here disclaim on an oath

We would have been believing we dreamt it all

Indeed even now,

Under the heat of their quizzical glare

The benign indulgence of their smiles

We are not sure

NO! We are sure

They say we've gone all out of our minds

But if madness nurtures such lucidity,

God make us mad

Make us even more mad!

For in the navel of the soul

We too have felt at times

The throb of a heart straining

A spirit refusing to be drowned

in its own waters before birth

Day 5 - My Dreams

"I am a dreamer but when I wake you can't break my spirits, its my dreams you take." (Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt). Even if you take the dreams, I'm awake & since you didn't take my memory, I remember & I'll work to make the dreams come true.

I have so many dreams & I could go on and on.

I really want to be successful in whatever, everything and anything I do.

I've always wanted, and still want to be an actress. If you know anything about me, you'll know how much I LOVE the stage. Acting is my passion! Its really amazing. In my short life, I've been on the stage more times than I remember, and nothing ever felt as right. I hope acting continues to remain in my life. All I know is I want to be an actress; dreaming of making it as a celebrity.

I've dreamed of many things:

I used to dream of being a gynecologist and pediatrician but thats not me.

I want to be happy and fulfilled with great friends, a wonderful husband and awesome kids (which include twins). Many of my dreams are romantic (yeah, I'm a hopeless romantic). I have so many romantic ideas about my future relationships and marriage. I hope those dreams come true.

I have many dreams, some might not come true; but a girl can dream can't she?

Day 4 - My Closest Sibling (or relative)

This is too hard. I'm not close to my siblings, at all. I don't really have cousins or family to whom I'm close. I was going to talk about someone but I've just realized the person is not worthy of being called a closest relative so, why bother?

Day 3 - My Parents

Lets start with the insignificant and least important:

I have a stepfather (I guess he counts as a parent). I absolutely D I S L I K E him. He's of no consequence to me. There's no love in my heart for him, at all. Did I mention that he's the phoniest person I've met in my entire life?

My father is in Nigeria. We have a weird kind of relationship. We're not close but I know I love him (even if its a little). He's not been a perfect father or the kind of father I sometimes wish I had but he has a FEW strong points. I think my father likes me least of his three children because he's said to me that I'm just like my mother. My father is kinda scared of me (weird right) because I'm blunt; he didn't let me know this but my uncle told me (don't tell my father I know!). He's the really cool parent. I just have to be like "I'm going to visit my friend" and there are no questions asked. He's also way more liberal about things than my mother. I feel like he trusts me to handle issues more than my mother does. He has so many faults, we don't always get along, I feel he doesn't care at times, I act like I don't care many times; but I do. I miss you dad.

My mother! There's too much to say. We also have a kind of relationship. I'm closer to her than my father but I'm not really close to her. She doesn't really know me & there are way too many things I can't tell her. I would rather talk to my friends about my issues than her. I love her, no doubt. She drives me crazy and all. We get along better when we are apart. My mother is more of the provider for my siblings and I & if anyone knows the kind of sacrifices she's had to make for us, it's me. I appreciate her for all these things. Even though I pray for a better relationship with my future children than the one we have now & I hope that I'm very close to my children - a better mother, I know that my mother tries her best for me (and my siblings) and has made her best efforts to raise us better than she was raised - without the love of a mother or father in the house of people who treated her like a slave; she's succeeding just as I hope I succeed at raising my children better than I'm being raised so that with each generation the bond between mother and children gets stronger.

Day 2 - My Crush

This is actually really easy because right now, I'm not crushing on anyone.

My Crush - Non-existent

Day 1 - My Bestfriend

I've really never had to think of who my best friend is or was considering the fact that where I come from you had best friends when you were a child. Anyway, this blog is about three people (yes I know there are only two pictures; that's just because my picasa was acting a fool yesterday night).

On the right is Tolulope Kumuyi, I call her my "bestest friend" and I love this girl to bits. I've known her since we were both in the womb (that's the truth since we're six months apart in age). My special portable. We don't talk as often as I'd like (that's mostly because of her school) but the bond of friendship is there. There was a time when we were kinda out of touch for a long while but we picked our friendship right back. In spite of the our parents grown up drama and issues, we're still going strong. Too many details; just know, I love this girl, she's my "bestest" friend ever & hopefully our friendship continues for life.

In the middle (the invisible picture) is Omotayo Egberongbe and she's my soul sister. We've been friends for about 5 years now and we've come a long way together. We have so much understanding for each other so we hardly have issues. We're always real with each other. We still talk really often so our friendship is safe. Did I mention that I'm the future godmother of her first child?

On the left is Oluwagbemisola Akinola & I consider her my bestie. I've known her the shortest but I feel like her know her the most or almost as much. We were together for a brief three months in Ajayi Crowther University (my school before I relocated) but I feel like we've been friends for years (in actuality we've been friends for almost 1 year 9 months). I miss her so much. This girl knows me so well & is always ready to apologize when she senses a change in my mood after anything she says or does. Another big thing is she shares so much personal stuff with me that I can trust her with anything, secret (I hardly have any) or issue. We've come a very long way in a short time. I hope its forever. I've got mad love for you girl.

These are the three people I consider my best friends. One similar trait: they are super generous & caring. I love these girls too much.

Blog Challenge

I've been MIA on here for a while that's just because I've been really bored & nothing is happening in my life so there's no inspiration to blog. Anyway, I should be regular for at least the next 30 days seeing as Yvette (the one from Ghana), Bilphena (the Liberian girl) and I (I love those girls; they are just super cool and real) are starting our 30-day blog challenge TOMORROW (Yay!!!!).

These are the first 27 questions:

Day 1 - Your best friend
Day 2 - Your crush
Day 3 - Your parents
Day 4 - Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 - Your dreams
Day 6 - A stranger
Day 7 - Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 - Someone you don't talk to as much as you would like
Day 11 - A deceased person with whom you wish you could talk
Day 12 - The person you hate/the person that caused you the most pain
Day 13 - A fictional book
Day 14 - Someone from whom you have drifted
Day 15 - The person you miss the most
Day 16 - Someone that is not in your state or country
Day 17 - Someone from your childhood
Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind - good or bad
Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 - Someone to whom you want to give a second chance
Day 23 - The last person you kissed
Day 24 - The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 - The last person to who you made a pinky promise
Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day

This should really be fun.

Yvette's blog - http://evet965.blogspot.com/

Bilphena's blog - http://planetfaraway.tumblr.com/

*Random* One of my long lost special friends is back in my life. I'm happy he's back; I've missed him so much.

I'm praying for the quick recovery of another one of my special friends. I absolutely miss our wonderful conversations.

I'm outta here for now. I'll be back *deuces*