If I Die

This is something I think about often, so many times for so many years now. I don't want to die soon or anything like that but it could happen. I pray it doesn't (and I believe it wont) but I wonder & have so many questions about what would happen if I die as a teenager/youth (I don't why I'm not really bothered about the dying as an adult part but I'm not). I'll ask just a few of the questions that run through my mind.

If I die:

* Would my friends and acquaintances miss me?

* What would people miss about me?

* Would people really feel the pain of my loss in their hearts?

* Would I be forgotten after a brief period, like I never happened?

* Even after some years, would some people still say "I wish Chioma were here?"

* Would some say "If Chioma just saw this she would have said . . ."?

* Would some people be able to look at my picture & remember the things for which I lived?

* Would my friends have the memories of us or will my image be a blur in their minds?

* Would some people think the world is better off without me in it?

* Would people be able to say they learned something from me?

* Would people be able to remember the lessons and have the gifts from me forever?

* Would my absence be felt at all?

If I die, there are some things I'd want to happen. "Tell me no tales, sing me no songs, cry me no tears but remember me kindly." "Curl your toes in the soft pines of your floorboards and do remember me."

If I die:

*I'd want my spirit to be able to visit the earth for a while.

*I'd want to be able to help my loved ones through the pain before I finally rest.

*I wouldn't want people to mourn excessively for me.

*Like the two quotes above, all I want is for people to just remember me & the person I was.

*I'd hate to think/know that I was totally forgotten or became a blur in people's minds.

I'd like for a candlelight service at every place where I was happy for a while (NEPA LTS, Mayflower, Ajayi Crowther University, RHS).

*Having one at Mayflower and Ajayi Crowther University would mean the most because I was at my happiest in both places & I met too many awesome people there.

*I'd want those I love to know the extent of my love for them (before I die actually).

This is about that for now. I'd probably remember more things later, because this is something that pops up in my mind fairly often, and edit this later or write a sequel or something.